rgdstar's Space

Day 1

06

Day 1

Leaving everything behind, the journey I initiated was a blur. Running towards the slopes was the ideal answer to me. The old house awaits me I said and there I shall face the past yet again. For odious are my memories and he is part of the swamp I have lived in for some time… I look back and all I see is a shadow with an innocent essence screaming and screeching, but no one hears it beg. The memory is the key for me to fall under the Fakir’s voodoo casted upon me. I don’t know why I can’t stop I don’t know why I haven’t claimed a Nay! But how can I? When weakness is my hinder, when a pumping blaze is the supreme authority for all the confusion and misery I have claimed. She screamed to go back to the present enjoy a fruit basket she stumbled upon while I just craved for the past. Yearned to seek an aura... lavished with flames I have surely misplaced. The road was an illusion dripping with jauntiness. To him, to his arms, to his soul I screamed! Why are you my adversary I scolded her stop pulling me back! Please I beg you let me surrender, let me fall wounded, let me waste my pragmatism. I yearn to him why wouldn’t you allow me to seek myself in the core of his eyes … those eyes that captivate me. What are you trying to prove you ignorant selfish being??!! She blasted at me… let him be, let time heal purify you from those sins… love? There is no such being you foolish girl.  I may roam the entire region and never accomplish my goal I replied back… I acknowledge that what I thrive for is absurd but I crave for his voice… for his tenderness why can’t you understand? Have you got no mercy u ghastly?

She sighed with pity and grudgingly replied… my blood myself why won’t you understand that the moon is not bright and astonishing as it seems? I strive to keep you in your safe cocoon; I battle to keep you sane… why do you have to be masochistic?  Why do you choose your death while you can be alive?

I stared back at my own reflection and replied, for the ordinary I shall settle not. Get out of myself and let me to head to my flight for I chose bondage and the wounds are mine! I shall rage and the siege I shall defy! I shall burn myself if it means that I survive … for earth is just not enough and my rocket has settled its path…

She stared with rage at my reply as she creased her forehead and her mouth twitched… you are absurd!! You are mad!! You are ridiculous!! A FOOL I SAY!!

Wake up from the dream… you are just acting so juvenile.  Why can’t you accept the bliss you are in?  Why can’t you let go and just breathe… look at the world how it lives and proceeds and you still hanging to the star that was once a token of a forbidden desire. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and spoke to her yet again … dearest self I have got no answer!! Let me be... Leave me alone… for I have been cursed and you shall not hold for me my cross!

 

To Posterous, Love Metalab