rgdstar's Space

Day 3

Day 3

Ripslinger_diary

Day 3

I can’t seem to get a hold of the last time I gave you a visit, yet I kept my promise and here am. Many things have occurred since my last visit and I’m here to lay down my burdens for you are my womb

I have left my sanctuary for a duty that I have chosen for myself a duty that drove me mad… but I survived .My diary I have realized that I have not let go of my inner child. For days I have felt doomed without my guardians. My love disappeared, my toastmaster have flew with the winds, and my eternal love have called upon me many times but blind as I was to spread my wings and soar I have ignored her summoning… Well behold here a liar and a thief laying her words…you wonder what’s behind my reflection… I say a liar for I have denied my fear and a thief for I have stolen the sunshine from my angel. My inner child visited me last night…she spoke with many voices… I invited her in … but she wouldn’t stop tearing … I screeched to grab her in my arms and cradle her but she would only stand there behind the glass crying silently … A silence so striking … she then spoke with me and said only four words …Older Self   Don’t Let Go… I was bewildered I was afraid yet I managed to nod and I woke up with fear of losing her yet again…I Called upon my own mother and managed my grotesque words in to a summoning … I shall trust you with my letter my dearest keep it safe and never let a lad undo its riddles.

I came across a piece of parchment and I sat there utterly blinking over the white plain paper …It’s just not enough my soul whispered… Let yourself free for the paper shall speak a tale that flourished over long years the voices hummed. I said to my dove that my words are insufficient yet they were immense and that I shall softly let them shimmer on my paper thus my universe to life it would have to come. The first word of them all that fluttered softly in the medium was “Mother”. I sigh my diary  as I sat there tearing and scolding for terrified I was. I was afraid that my words were not hardy enough to deliver the message across time for they must reach that little toddler though my journey to an end will not come until I reach my sanctuary... My Mother… Diary I sat there on countless occasions so bleak looking and forlorn yet I felt no pain striking my temple for numb I became as I have been blesses by her remedy. As her innocent spell of sacrifice surfaced I fell in the hands of the wide blue emerald sea of dreams. Diary I saw that little familiar child falling to her knees and crying out… I could relieve the pain and confusion yet the little child was out of my reach as I looked in to the past. The young one struggled to survive as all was turning to demons and dark sorcery and out of the blue arrived two calming hands and snatched from the trench and safe she was in that womb. Dearest Dove I cried I’m just a maiden with fancy words, for you see I thrive to seek the infant you raised inside your heart …For you Oozed love so divine the child blossomed from your stem accomplished and ready to battle the world yet she still runs around the place reaching out till the tips of her fingers are embraced with warmth only she can decode. The little girl leaps up high to flutter away in her cocoon as it sings to her the purest lullabies. Dairy I wrote and wrote till my hands throbbed yet it was all insufficient... It was all rubbish… Diaries tell me how I shall engrave in time my love for that magnificent creature. Finally I gave up my fancy ways and simply wrote in the solid core of time “Dearest Mother, till my heart grows old and after it goes silent I shall always be your little toddler and I would always call upon you dearest mother” 

To Posterous, Love Metalab